Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Can this manuscript be saved?



Five Scribes Readers: Today we are pleased to present multi-published author Susan Meier as she gives us the shorter version of her online course, Can this Manuscript be saved. Leave a comment with contact info, and one lucky reader will win three books in the Mills and Boons Daycare Dads Series.

Please welcome Susan Meier!


Good morning…afternoon…or evening!

I’m Susan Meier. I’ve written over forty books for Harlequin and Silhouette but most of you know me as a workshop speaker…especially an online speaker. CAN THIS MANUSCRIPT BE SAVED is my most popular workshop.

I think there are two reasons for that. First, the material for this class came from my own blood, sweat and tears as I learned how to write AFTER I got published. I’m not exactly proud of that (LOL!!!) but because I did learn all this stuff by working with editors YOU get the benefit of editorial noodle whipping without having to submit bad manuscripts and taking the lashing!

Second, I think all of us have a manuscript somewhere that’s “broken” and we don’t know how to fix it!

So here is the very, very, very condensed version of CAN THIS MANUSCRIPT BE SAVED.

There are seven common reasons books get rejected:

1. Doesn’t fit our line/Isn’t right for the publisher to which it was submitted
2. Not enough emotion (too much emotion/romance if it’s going mainstream or single title)
3. Pacing off/bad
4. Tone wrong
5. Bad characters (FOR A MULTIPLICITY OF REASONS)
6. No conflict/weak conflict
7. Weak story

Unfortunately, those are only symptoms of what’s wrong with your book. Think of going to the doctor. You go in. You say, I have a fever, body aches and I’m throwing up. He doesn’t say, “Oh! You have fever, body-aches and puke disease.” He says, “You have a virus.”

That’s one of the most important things about figuring out what’s wrong with your book. Most of us deal in symptoms and forget the disease. So what does a book “disease” look like?

Well, we write on 3 levels…Story, Scene and Word. You tell a story using scenes and you create scenes with words. Those are the main entry points to fixing (or writing) a book. So if something is wrong with your book, it’s either a story problem, a scene problem or a word problem.

Let’s take them one at a time.

Your story is your premise, (forgiveness is hard, opposites attract, boss falls in love with his secretary, older man falls in love with younger woman, hero and heroine must catch a killer) coupled with your characters’ goals, motivations and conflicts. (i.e.: The hero and heroine must find a killer, but she’s already been charged with the murder and he’s the DA prosecuting her.)

If you’re getting rejections saying, “I wasn’t wowed by this story.” Or “It was okay.” Or…shudder… “It didn’t make sense.” “I didn’t believe the hero would behave that way.” “Hero (or heroine’s) motivation was off.” “The main characters goals weren’t compelling.” ... then you have a story problem.

To fix a story problem, you don’t jump into the manuscript and start changing things willy nilly! You first create a story summary which includes your story’s premise coupled with your characters’ goals motivations and conflicts. You change this SUMMARY first. Then when you jump into the book you have a plan for what the NEW VERSION should look like. This summary will keep you on track but also show you what can stay the same. And sometimes, knowing what NOT TO CHANGE is every bit as important as knowing what to change!

How about scenes? Well, the purpose of a scene is to illustrate a journey step. Journey steps are the steps it takes to take the hero and heroine from chapter one – the introduction of terrible trouble, the day/moment everything changed, the inciting incident – to the satisfying conclusion.

Poorly written scenes, scenes in the wrong order and scenes without purpose can cause poor pacing.

Jack Bickham and Dwight Swain give us a magic formula for plotting – which is combining story with scenes. That formula is action/reaction/decision. For every action there is a reaction (consequence) which usually results in somebody making a decision…which results in that person taking action (or getting someone else to take action) which results in a consequence…which results in a decision…and on and on.

To check to see if you’re following an action, reaction, decision formula, you can create a story board to “see” your scenes. Write your chapter numbers across the top of poster board (or spreadsheet in Excel). Write the journey step and number of pages used for the scene on a Post-it and paste it to the poster board under the appropriate chapter. When you’ve done this for an entire book, scenes without a journey step (or scenes with weak journey steps) will become obvious!

Scenes without journey steps aren’t necessary! If you’ve got a lot of them, that might be why your book is “slow”. But there’s another less obvious thing about writing scenes that lots of us don’t know. Come closer…it’s kind of a secret…Not every scene has to be the same length! Scenes with “lesser” journey steps can sometimes be a page, or a paragraph or even a sentence. And some “lesser-journey-step” scenes can be combined!

On the flip side…you don’t want to shortchange the scenes that should be your most powerful. Those scenes might be the scenes where you want to “spend” the most pages!

I believe the skill of discerning if a journey step should be illustrated as a sentence or a fifteen-page scene is the master skill of the greats among us!

Now there are other reasons scenes “go bad”. You could have picked a poor way to illustrate your journey steps. You could have simply written the scene poorly. In those cases, you don’t need to “rewrite” an entire book…simply fix those scenes!

Studying your storyboard will show you everything you need to know about your scenes!

And finally…Words.

Think this through. Words are your primary tool for creating scenes, characters and tone. If an editor tells you that your character isn’t likable…it might be because his or her actions make him unlikeable. But…could it be the words you’ve chosen to describe him make him unlikeable? More to the point…could it be that the words you’ve chosen to use as his “reactions” to the events around him make him unlikeable? Have your words turned your character into something/someone you didn’t intend?

Follow me on this one! It takes some thought.

“Reaction” phrases are an important part of the “word” problem of characterization. Not only can character reactions create a “tone” for your book that you might not want, but also characters are “known” by what they do…how they react. Your characters are only as good as the words you put in their mouths and minds and the words you use to describe them!

So if you sit down tomorrow and read your problem manuscript and discover that you’ve inadvertently created a character you didn’t intend by the words you chose, how can you fix this?

First, create a List of 20 for more creative character reactions, movements and traits.

What do I mean by that? Well, if your character is always reacting in a dark and somber way and your rejection said the book was too depressing, put a question at the top of a piece of notebook paper that says…WHAT ARE TWENTY DIFFERENT WAYS THIS GUY CAN REACT THAT WILL MAKE HIM BEHAVE AS A STRONG AND DETERMINED PERSON RATHER THAN A DEPRESSING WEIRDO? (Have fun with your question! It has to inspire you!)

Then work to figure out twenty reaction phrases. If he sighs every time he learns bad news, you might replace those sighs with more action-oriented, expressive reactions. For instance, his eyes could glint with anger or glaze over with rage. Or he could make a fist, grit his teeth, snap his toothpick in two.

Once you have twenty good reaction phrases, you can begin to plug those in everywhere he sighs or has any other type of reaction that makes the book (and him) depressing! You’ll not only strengthen his character, you’ll improve the book’s tone.

If you’ve gotten a rejection that said the tone of your book wasn’t good…go back and take a look at how your characters are reacting!

So what have we said here?

Create a story summary BEFORE you try to fix a book that the editor has criticized goals, motivations and conflicts! Then use that summary to guide you on fixing your book.

Create a story board to evaluate scenes, if an editor has said your book is slow, pacing is off, or (God forbid) boring!

Use a list of twenty to create better reaction phrases to fix books with rejections that pertained to characters.

And that’s the quick and dirty version of CAN THIS MANUSCRIPT BE SAVED!

I’m giving this workshop online right now, by the way at the Yosemite Romance Writers http://www.yosemiteromancewriters.com/6.html

I’ve spoken with the coordinator and she’ll leave registration open until next Monday if anyone wants to sign up. Lesson 1 went up on Monday and Lesson 2 goes up tomorrow. So you’ll have to play catch up!

Also, don't forget to sign up for the book giveaway, and look for my new release MAID IN MONTANA on bookshelves next week!

susan meier
MAID IN MONTANA, Harlequin Romance, 6/09
THE MAGIC OF A FAMILY CHRISTMAS, Harlequin Romance 11/09

Susan, thanks so much for being here today. Readers? Questions or Comments? Doesn't this sound like a fabulous course?

46 comments:

magolla said...

Hi, Susan!
I met you at the Atlanta RWA National and really enjoyed talking to you in the hospitality room.
This blog came at the perfect time for me. I have just finished my first draft and was starting on my rewrite when I was assailed by feelings of 'this is crap'. Your succinct points have helped me regain focus of this story. I KNOW I'll be referring back to them to keep me on track.
Thanks!
Margaret A. Golla

Susan said...

I feel your pain! LOL

That's why I had to develop a very clear approach to polishing/changing/revising a manuscript!

Sometimes we make our biggest mistakes by taking out the good stuff because we're unsure.

Glad the summary helped!

susan

Donnell said...

Margaret beat me to my good morning, Susan! Thanks for joining Five Scribes this morning. I have a question: As the author of forty books, will you talk about how publishing has changed from then to now, how many editors you've had, how you've had to adjust over the years -- I know we're talking about manuscripts today, but I'd love to hear some of the challenges you've faced and obviously overcome. Thank you! (And I disqualify myself from winning - rats!)

Judi Romaine said...

Thanks for your great post - I love your books! The timing of your blog is great since I just had a book turned back because of slow opening pace - they recommended I rewrite by moving the murder up to front of book. In rewriting the first three chapters, I now find myself having to rewrite the entire book, since having the murder in chapter one rearranges the entire plot. I'm heading over to see about joining your class but any suggestions would be helpful. I hadn't thought to storyboard the reorganized plot so I'll try that - thanks again - judi writing as Lynn Romaine (Long Run Home due 09/18/09 TWRP)

Debbie Kaufman said...

Morning Susan:
Great post! I love the quick overview of story problems. Looking at what you've written, I can say that I think my current problem is in scenes. Now I have a better idea of where to focus.
Thanks!

Susan said...

Ah, challenges I've faced and overcome.

I've been in the business 26 years, published for 21. I sold first to Silhouette Desire and Harlequin Intrigue and the editors suggested Silhouete Romance was a better fit for my books. I tried one and was hooked.

All that was good!

Then Harlequin shifted me to London and the Harlequin Romance line when Silhouette Romance closed. I've been there a few years and have had a different editor ever year.

Now, having a new editor every year should be hard...in some ways it was. But the editors in London are very cool. Even when we hit bumps in the road. So basically my editorial life has been pretty good.

However...

How have things changed in the industry in my 20+ years?

Totally.

I was just telling someone yesterday that the world of publishing is nearly opposite of what my first mentor experienced.

We don't earn tons of money anymore. We can't really stomp our feet and demand anything. There are thousands of very good, well trained writers thanks to workshops both online and at conferences. So if we push too hard or too far, we can be replaced. LOL!!!!

Not that we aren't valued, but the editors now have more opportunity to really work to try to see their vision worked out through the books of their authors.

This isn't about anyone getting his or her way. It's about vision.

And just as we work to find the right scenes to illustrate our journey steps to tell our stories...LOL...editors seek authors who share their vision of romance in general, or paranormal romance, or historical, thriller...whatever genre they're currently producing...so that they can produce the best books they can to reach that vision.

So...in the eighties when I first wandered on the scene, authors ruled. This, I believe, resulted in the biggest surge in romance sales ever.

But as all things in life ebb and flow, we're now back to being in a publishers market.

I think ebooks will ultimately change that. But not for a while.

Which takes us to our bottom line. First, you MUST know the market. You MUST know what's selling and what's not and you MUST be realistic.

Second, you must write the very best book you can.

Simple, right?

I'm hoping today's condensed workshop will help you!

susan

Susan said...

Judi! I feel your pain!!!!!!

I just pulled one little, itty-bitty thing forward in a manuscript and found myself rewriting the whole book! LOL

Buy margaritas and chocolate. LOL

Seriously, I know this appears to be a scene problem, but it actually is a story problem.

When you pull something like a murder forward, you change your story.

So first you need to write the one-paragraph summary for the book as it exists now...then you need to rewrite it (in various versions) taking into considering how the book will change with the move of the murder.

I LOVE to play with my one paragraph story summary because in the end it saves so much time and so much heartache.

Without a guide for what you intend to accomplish with this rewrite, you will find yourself making a lot of false starts, changing things that shouldn't be changed and in general working much harder and much more than you have to.

So take the easy way. Write and rewrite and rewrite a one-paragraph summary of the book until you find the one that really encompasses your vision of the story.

Then work from that!

susan

Susan said...

Debbie...

For as much as I love working with a one-paragraph story summary, I also find that story boards have saved my bootie a time or two when it comes to polishing a manuscript, or fixing one that is going astray!

Storyboards give you the quickest look at all your journey steps and also the scenes you've chosen to manifest them.

If there's an error...you'll see it on that board!

Good luck!

susan

Mary Ellen Carmody said...

Hi Susan - Great blog - I am a beginner in fiction and can use all the help I can get. Thanks

Donnell said...

Story boards: (for anyone interested)

http://pprw.org/plottingboards.html

I have a picture of mine on May 19th blog: Are Math Whizzes Faster Writers.

I fought the storyboard but am finding it's so helping me with the twists and turns of my most recent novel.

Nancy said...

Susan, thank you for the terrific post! This is a class I've been interested in but never been able to fit into my schedule. I'm definitely keeping it in mind for the next offering!

I love your clear steps, and I'm putting them to immediate use!

Thanks and I'll be at B&N tonight looking for MAID IN MONTANA!

Light,
Nancy Haddock

Susan said...

Ah, Mary Ellen...I remember my beginnings.

In some ways it's the greatest time in your life because you never feel more free to experiment ... and make mistakes!

In others, it's daunting because you do feel there's so much to learn!

But take everything one step at a time and enjoy the journey!

susan

Susan said...

Thanks, Nancy!

And especially thanks for going to B&N to look for MAID IN MONTANA!

I'm not sure of the release date, so I hope it's there.

susan

Susan said...

donnell...You're brave to post your storyboard! Mine are always works in progress.

But you're right. there's nothing like seeing your journey steps out there in front of you to take advantage of ways to up the tension, add twists and/or turns and raise the stakes!

susan

Donnell said...

I am posting this on behalf of one of Susan's many admirers ;)


Five Scribes:
So glad to see Susan visiting you today.
I nominated her for Life Time Achievement Award in 2007/08. She has 40 books out there and is devoted to teaching young mothers and writers.
Her style is smooth, clear, precise.
Her assignments are thought provoking and they excite you to the point of your best creativity.
Getting in one of Susan's classes or reading her blog is a luxury.
Janie Van Der Schouw

Susan said...

Wow! What a lovely thing to say!

thank you, Janie!

The truth is I write my workshops first for myself. If I can't understsand them no one can! LOL

and I also work from the perspective of someone who is REALLY, SERIOUSLY trying to improve.

I never blow sunshine up anybody's skirt, but love to give you usable tools!

Thank you for your very kind words!

It's always nice to feel appreciated!

susan

Rosemarie said...

Hi Susan!
Thank you for your Cliff notes version on what all can derail a good write which translates into a bad read and how to address it. I'm an 'off-the cuff' writer who will benefit from your suggestions.

Not being an outliner, highlighter, or story boarder has really put me at a disadvantage in weaving a great page turner. But sigh, this requires discipline of the detail kind.

I vow to start that journey with my next manuscript where I will actually write a synopsis before typing the first sentence of "chapter 1" :)

Note to self: find a blank wall and dig up the stash of post-its....

Rosemarie

Jeanne said...

Susan,
Your blog came at the perfect time for me. I just finished a first draft and today planned to begin the revision phase. Now, thanks to you, I have a clear and concise guide to follow!
THANKS!

Jeannie B.

Susan said...

Rosemarie, In the workshop I actually discuss a few things that help pantsers. Because I am one too!

The fact is I frequently do my storyboard when I get into trouble and not before! LOL

Why? I don't want to spoil my fun.

Keep my story in line using the one paragraph story summary, but don't really write an outline or a synopsis because I don't know until I write how my characters will behave!

So you're not alone in pantsing!

But...once you get about half way through the book, try a storyboard. You won't spoil your fun and you will be able to take advantage of all the ways you can twist or turn a story!

susan

Susan said...

Jeanne!

Wow, that's terrific! It's synchronicity at it's finest...that is if I spelled synchronicity correctly!

What's the saying? When the student is ready the teacher will appear?

Good luck with your manuscript!

susan meier

Susan said...

oops...that's its finest...not it's...

LOL

Typos!

susan

Pat said...

Great advice, Susan. Editing can be so overwhelming, and knowing what to change and when to change it certainly helps. Thanks for the tips.

Susan said...

You're welcome, Pat!

I think the first thing to remember about editing is don't touch the book until you know where you're going!

LOL

susan

Kathy said...

Kathy here waving at Susan.*\:-) I just took a class with her and I've read other things she has done. She's a smart sharp lady. I enjoy her workshops. I will use her post to review this story I'm sending off.

Susan said...

Kathy!

Hey...nice to "see" you here. LOL

Glad the blog helps!

susan

Audra Harders said...

Hi Susan,
Thanks so much for your words of wisdom. Knowing you have to revise/rework your manuscript is a daunting task when you look at it as a whole. Breaking it down bit by bit like you've demonstrated makes it easier to swallow : )

I love your journey steps! I especially need to go through the scenes that may have a minor journey step and see if I can combine it with others to make stronger scenes.

Loved, loved, loved your list of 20! What a hoot!

Thanks so much for stopping in today and sharing with us!

Edie Ramer said...

Great blog! I love the 20 reactions list. My heroes don't sigh, but I'll do something like that for my next book.

Susan said...

Thanks, Audra.

I have a really funny list of twenty story. Years ago, I had written a book where a princess is pregnant with a commoner's baby and ultimately runs away from the palace to at least tell him he's a dad. (And of course they realize they love each other and stay together!)

Anyway, wrote the whole book, and everybody loved it, but I'd forgotten to explain why a king wouldn't go after his pregnant daughter when she was pregnant with the heir to his country's throne.

The editor called and said, you need to explain this and by the way you don't get more than a paragraph. And you have 24 hours. (It was going to print the next day or something.)

So I did a question...Why wouldn't a king go after his pregnant daughter when she was carrying the heir to his country's throne... for a list of twenty

I quickly came up with the obvious answers, knowing they didn't really work. Like: he didn't know she was gone. Or he didn't care she was gone. Or she bribed her maid to make it appear she hadn't gone.

Then I was seriously stumped. So I went into the kitchen, got a cup of coffee and started reading the paper.

At the time Bono was doing something that made the front page ... so I wrote: The king can't go after his pregnant daughter because he's touring with U-2.

A little further down I saw an article about the Michael Jackson trial (this was many years ago) and I wrote...He can't go after her because he's at the Michael Jackson trial.

That was weird, but I thought... hey, what if he's somewhere he can't leave...Like Parliment is in session and he has to be there and if he goes the media will realize something is really wrong and follow him and they will find out the heir to the throne is illegitimate.

So even thought I found two weird, not workable answers by reading the paper, they jumpstarted my brain and voila...I figured out how to fix the little hole in the book!

And I got it in under 24 hours! LOL

susan

Susan said...

Edie,

You will be surprised how having on hand a list of twenty common reaction of your hero or heroine...written to make sure you capture the essence of your character will save you time!

And help you get to know your character!

susan

Audra Harders said...

Susan, loved your fix for the pregnant princess! Talk about giving a situation a twist : )

Hmm, my money was on the U2 vein, LOL!

Thanks so much for sharing. I learned a lot!

lauragrahambooth said...

I've taken this course online and it ROCKS. Actually, all of Susan's workshops do! Can't wait to see you again at NJRW this fall!

Kathy Otten said...

Hi Susan,
I was in this work shop at the Pennwriters conference last month. Unfortunately I couldn't write fast enough to record everything you said. Thanks for this chance to update my notes. :)

Donnell said...

Susan, I've received a lot of *shy* comments out there posting comments how much they loved your article. Thank you for joining us. For Bloggers, we will wait until Friday to draw a winner of Susan's 3-book series Mills and Boons Daycare Dads Series. And remember to check out Maid in Montana, which should be hitting the shelves sometime this week or next. Thanks again, Susan and happy writing, everyone.

Susan said...

Thanks, Kathy and Lauren

The Pennwriters conference was tons of fun!

As for New Jersey...I'm doing a workshop I had done a few years ago and sort of forgot about.

It's on scenes. It delves into the purposes of a scene and how to make the best use of them.

It's a fun, fun workshop. So I'll look for you in NJ!

susan

Susan said...

Thanks, Donnell!

It's been fun. what a great group.

I'm so glad the CAN THIS MANUSCRIPT BE SAVED workshop has helped so many! Lord knows, knowing these things helped me!

I'll be around on and off over the next two days if anyone has anymore questions or comments!

susan

jo robertson said...

Great blog, Susan. Thanks for sharing and thanks to Donnell for hosting you!

Tiffany James said...

Hi, Susan!

Great post and timely, in my case. I've been struggling with plotting my story. I just can't figure out those journey steps. I think your storyboard idea is really going to help.

Thanks for taking time out to visit Five Scribes!

Tiffany

Susan said...

thanks, Jo and Tiffany!

It was my pleasure.

susan

Arkansas Cyndi said...

Hi Susan. I met you at nationals also (I room with magolla, so we were probably together).

Timely blog. I'm mid-way through my story and stuck. I was sitting down today with a spreedsheet and scene notes!

Excellent blog. I tweeted it on Twitter. I thought others would appreciate your wonderful insights.

Susan said...

Thanks, Cyndi, for both the nice words and the tweet!

I've got to learn how to use twitter. But, seriously, I'm only now getting on Facebook. Still don't know how to use it but love getting pictures from other people!

Oh, and it's nice when someone wants to be your friend. Isn't that a nice feeling! LOL

susan

Susan said...

forgot to mention that I have a newsletter!

There's a writing tip and some other info.

This is all in the experimental stages so don't laugh! LOL

http://www.susanmeier.com/ezine.html

susan

Susan said...

Margaret Golla is the winner of the Daycare Dads series from Mills and Boon!

Congrats, Margaret!

Thanks everyone for joining us. Hope you'll all revisit Five Scribes and also pop over to susanmeier.com

Oh...and don't forget MAID IN MONTANA

susan

Donnell said...

Fantastic, Susan. Again, thank you so much for joining us. Margaret, I contacted you privately. I hope you enjoy Susan's Day Care Dad series!

I will be looking for Maid in Montana!

magolla said...

YAY!!
I'm so excited!
Thanks Susan, Donnell ant Five Scribes bog!

_Decode_ said...

I don't necessarily read Romance, but your advice was incredible, as it can apply to any genre. Thanks so much for sharing!

Victoria Durm

http://flightsoffantasybydecode.blogspot.com/

email:VictoriaDurm@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/_decode_

Susan said...

Thanks, Victoria.

As I mentioned above, this is part of a really long workshop! LOL

susan